one question I get a lot is how do I get the borders around my scans.. and it drives me nuts that people don’t just hop on google and search it. I mean, im not gonna be a dick a ignore the questions but shit, it takes up a ton of unnecessary effort on my end to explain it.. when you can literally just type that question into google and you will find the answers. that information you’re seeking; lives on the internet. like you can access it right now.. like right now, right now. lots of people ask where I get the border, as if its like some app I use… but its not an app (which im sure there probably is one that exists.. theres an app for fucking everything these days).. its not photoshopped either (which can be done of course).. but this is how I actually scan it, with the rebate. sure, you can achieve the same look when you create it in post but being that I shoot and scan it myself, having the frame number on the shot means much more to me. like.. this shot on frame number 9 of kodak gold 200. that means os much more to me than a generic script from a app or photoshopping a pre-made rebate template.

gold 200 | bessa r4m

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I think that trying so hard to be the best at everything has caught up to me.. I feel completely overwhelmed and exhausted with just trying to give everything my all. trying to find the perfect balance between my family, my brand, my job, my art, trying to keep my mind and my spirit in a healthy state fucking hard work.

fuji superia 400

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what people fear most about failure is how others will perceive them of their failures; but failure is all a part of the process of getting to the next phase. so embrace your failures, share your failures, encourage others to know that it's okay to fail... then build.

fuji superia 400 | bessa r4m

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I really dread red-eye flights cause I know that I will get really shitty uncomfortable sleep (if you can even call it sleep), wake up feeling off af and all I want to do is brush my teeth but we’re still in the air, then the rest of the day i just feel weird.. like it has just been one long ass day. but one good thing, and maybe the only good thing is that sometimes you get to wake up and watch the sunrise from outer space.. maybe a cheaper outer space.. like not all the way space.. just right before it. you know what I mean.

Kodak gold 200 | bessa r4m


I was taking the train into east village but somehow ended up in the wrong direction and hopped off the train to get on another to go back in the opposite direction. I had been walking a bit looking at my phone and looked up and seen this Kmart. I grew up with Kmart, back when they had little Caesar’s built inside, those dingy grey shopping carts.. back when my mom used to take me and my brother here to go shopping, to when I got older me and my late homie would skate to the Kmart in our neighborhood to check out PC games. I remember I bought Diablo 2 out of the glass case at a Kmart. then they closed down all the Kmarts in my town in Ohio. it’s crazy to me that all these memories got tucked away after the stores closed down and I no longer saw the stores, or the logo, and then it just disappears. then 15+ years later I see this in a NY subway station, I can remember all the times I went to Kmart.

New York, New York.
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fuji natura 1600 | bessa r4m

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I am currently in the process of posting all my film shots from New York on my film instagram account, @film.kills. I shot a total of 5 rolls during the trip but give or take, there was a half shot roll that was already in my camera before I left for the trip so i’ve decided to post 150 images from these rolls. I will be posting individual images here on the blog. I’m hoping to talk a little bit about the experience with each photo taken.

Brooklyn, New York.
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fuji natura 1600 | bessa r4m

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our upstairs window lets in some awesome light every evening. last month, with all the fires, the skies were constantly orange so during sunset, our entire room would light up golden orange; shit was awesome.. and to make it twice the awesome, pairing that light with kodak gold. I fuckin love the tones in these photos. my daughter was nice enough to actually sit still for me... rare.  she was sitting there on a brick of diapers and just staring out the window. made me super proud that my daughter enjoys sunsets just as much as I do; when really, she just couldn't see shit cuz she was blinded by staring into the sun...  

kodak gold 200   |     bessa r4m


superia 800   |   leica m-a 

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_these past few weeks, the air quality is complete shit as a result of the 16 wildfires going on right now in California... the only good thats coming from all of this is the gnarly skies. its crazy, its like throwing an orange ND filter over the sun.

120 kodak ektar 100    |    etrsi


_Kiss the luxury of eating out and actually enjoying your food goodbye as soon as your kid starts running. Mia can be tough at times cause she's like a little ticking time bomb thats ready to go off at any given second.  so what I've learned along the way that really helps is.. one, find a nice open place  case all the sudden they think their high chair has turned to lava,  two, pick a noisy place so you don't become that parent when your kid decides to start going all travis barker on the plates and three, pick a place that has fuckin crayons cause crayons rule at the table. 

 

120 kodak ektar 100+3     |     etrsi

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_ on some super spur of the moment type shit. Mia wasn't going down for her afternoon nap so decided to hop in the car and go for a drive so she could sleep. I drove until she had woken up, and somehow ended up in Tahoe national forest. hopped out for a quick walk along the pacific crest trail. Mia wasn't much of a hiker so I ended up having to carry her for about a mile.. in the heat; sucked. need to invest in one of those backpacks for those super adventure dads.

35mm kodak tmax400       |       Nikon l35af


35mm kodak gold 200       |       Nikon l35af


_ I recently had the opportunity to photograph these two on their special day; one of the most important days of their lives. I've never been to have any desire to photograph engagements, weddings, elopements, etc.. I've almost always turned them down or referred them elsewhere. I don't think I ever really had the interest, and I hated the though of the pressure it involved. this all changed after getting married and looking back at our wedding photos, and then the birth of our daughter, and looking back at all those photos of her only hours old.. all of these memories are such important parts of my life and I get to relive all of it with those photos. I think having this new insight made me really rethink what those people we're asking of me when they wanted to hire me to photograph their weddings, engagements, etc.. they wanted to hire me, to photograph and capture one of the most important day of their lives.. they trusted me that much, and I didn't think of it this way all those years.  now.. when someone asks me, im thinking in my head like.. yo, what a fuckin honor!

I'm so glad that h & j allowed me this opportunity photograph their day. here are some of my favorite shots from the set. 


135 fuji superia 400       |       bessa r3m     


_ I ended up being stuck, waiting around in Oakland for a couple hours because someone had decided it was a good day to walk on the tracks. delay after delay, I ended up missing my return train. it was definitely an eventful day...

 Fuji Superia 400

Fuji Superia 400


_ it's been a while since I took my digital camera out unless it was for work; and in this case, I only had my camera with me because I brought it for an elopement shoot. how could I not snap a photo of her when he's waiving at me? I love how she interacts with me every time I pull my camera out. she would stop what she's doing, look at me, sometimes she would smile, other times she would squint cause she's used to my 35mm point & shoots haha. then there's times where she takes the camera from me because she wants to try and take a picture.. I love it. I really hope she takes an interest in photography, that would be awesome.

 Sony A7R2 + Sony FE 85mm F/1.4 GM

Sony A7R2 + Sony FE 85mm F/1.4 GM


Kodak TMY 200 - 120